Curl Definition vs. Volume

Definition vs. Volume

I recently read an article that reminded me of a conversation that I once had with some natural friends. The subject in a nutshell was: Definition vs. Volume. Now, I have always been more a volume kind of chick myself but I find myself usually having the same conversation with new naturals: How do I get more curl definition?

The article poised the thought that our desire for perfect little ringlets is a result of conditioned thinking of what our natural hair should look like. Although I would love some Trace Ellis Ross curls showering over my face, I realize that my hair just doesn’t do that. I wonder sometimes if growing up with natural hair makes you more realistic about natural hair expectations than making the change after growing up with relaxed hair.

Transitioning from a lifetime of getting relaxers for as long as you can remember and not knowing what more than a couple months’ worth of new growth looks like can definitely make us ill prepared. Especially since most of the natural hair products and bigger natural hair icons have little spiral curls cascading all about. Even I sometimes catch curl envy.

But, how can we truly grow through our natural journey if we spend the whole time trying to get unnatural curls? Becoming a definition junkie will hinder our hair journey entirely. We become so obsessed with buying new products and smothering our hair in gels and curl creams to get a look that we are still not born with. Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t explore. When I’m in a super curly mood, I throw in some small three strand twists and unleash the spiral curls but most of the time, I’m just rocking my semi curly puffy fro.

Long story short; don’t get caught up in all the hype. The point of the natural hair journey is to love yourself and your hair exactly as it grows. Maybe that’s with flowy curls or semi curly puffy fro, but that is the fun in all of this, your hair is uniquely yours!

Are you all about the curls or a sucker for volume?

Habitual Offender

Habitual Offender

On July 8^th, I shared a story with you guys about a school that had proposed a new school dress code that would prohibit children from wearing most natural hairstyles claiming that they are distracting, unprofessional and faddish. After much opposition, that school quickly revised the dress code. But, Deborah Brown Community School seemed to be harboring similar feelings and had no intentions of making changes until a 7 year old child was forced to switch schools due to her locs.

It hurt my heart so deeply when I watched the video of this 7 year old girl crying because she had to switch schools due to her hair. Tiana’s father, a barber, stated that he takes pride in his children’s appearance and would never allow his child to leave his home not looking “presentable”. He even attempted to compromise with the school by discussing different styles that Tiana could wear in her hair to make it “less distracting”. But, after not being able to find the middle ground he decided that his daughter was not wanted at the school and it would be best to find another school for her.

While it was in the dress code since 2007 that dreds were considered an inappropriate, Tiana’s father states that she has wore her locs to school in the previous year and met no opposition. Deborah Brown Community School has decided that they will now allow students to wear faddish hairstyles, such as afros and locs, as long as they do not present a hygiene issue.  But, Tiana’s parents said that this does not change the fact that their daughter came home crying after her school made her believe that something was wrong with her.

When Tiana was asked how she felt, she choked back tears and stated “I think that they should let me have my dreds”.

Tiana's response to having to leave school <<--- click here!

Many people at the board meeting to make this change in dress code felt a great relief at this dress code change. A board member stated that there were more important things to tackle than hairstyles and too much energy had been invested in prohibiting this style in the past 10 days.

I have expressed before how important I think it is for our children to learn to love themselves exactly as they are and I am very happy that Tiana’s parents did not succumb to the school’s rules of discrimination. But, I do wonder how many other parents were faced with this dilemma and dimply changed their child’s hair as a way of saying that “this is life”. I do understand that we have to teach children that we are sometimes not able to do what we want, but we also have to know the difference. I could understand if Tiana was coming to school with neon purple and blue locs or something that was actually distracting. But, natural hairstyle such as afros and locs being banned as unprofessional is definitely not a lesson that we want to teach our children.

What is your opinion of the ban of these hairstyles as faddish?

How do you feel about children and natural hairstyles?

Would you have handled this differently?

Bass Ackwards Compliments

Bass Ackwards Compliments

Don’t you hate when people start staring at your hair and saying those things that are meant to make you feel good but leave your face twitched and your hands itching?

There is nothing more annoying than the ignorant, backwards natural hair compliment. Well, honestly, any backwards compliment is nerve grinding. But, of all the backwards compliments that one can give me, it is the natural hair ones that get me riled up the most.

So let’s make a list of these backwards compliments and the real responses that we want to give:

·         Do you have a texturizer?

o    No! I have curly hair, as hard as it is to believe, natural hair is not the equivalent of a used rug and if you pulled your head out of your stereotypes then you would be able to see that natural hair is curls!

·         I can’t believe how soft it is!

o    I can’t believe how ignorant you are! (lol) But seriously, don’t you get tired of people acting like afro is a synonym of pot scrapers.

·         I always thought dreds were so dirty?!

o    Did you think that people became allergic to shampoo after locing their hair?

·         Your hair would look so good straightened!

o    But, not as good as it does natural!

·         My daughter/son is mixed; I wish she/he had hair more like yours…

o    Stop reproducing for vain looks, just because you like my hair like doesn’t mean that your kid would like my hair like this! Teach them to love themselves how they appear.

·         Are you from the islands?

o    As if, a regular black woman from Florida couldn’t wear her hair with pride?

·         I wish that I didn’t have to do anything to my hair, like you.

o    (This one makes me want to throw on my exorcist voice and start spinning my head. Okay that was a bit dramatic, but seriously!) What I want to say is: Please don’t confuse this effortless look for ease! It takes a lot of work to wear twist outs, keeping our hair shiny and looking longer than 2 inches after retaining length for the past 3 years!

I know, some people are thinking well zayumn, “what can I say about her hair?” It’s simple, if you like it, say so. Even if it you are surprised that it is so soft you can say that; because I do a lot of work to keep it soft and shiny! But don’t say it like black hair is a curse that I somehow managed to get lucky enough to escape from. Don’t say it like it my hair used to be some myth that you just disproved. Don’t say it like my hair is almost good enough for you. Give me a compliment like you would give any other person a compliment or keep your half hearted words to yourself!

What are the bass ackwards hair compliments that kink your curls?

A Day In The Curls of J. Sheree

 

J. Sheree’s Interview

Question: How long have you been natural?

Answer: 2 years on Feb 21^st

Question: At what age did you start getting relaxers?

Answer: Probably, 10 I would say.

Question: Why did you make the decision to stop getting relaxers?

Answer: I dyed my hair and it left my hair feeling extremely brittle and falling out, so I cut it all off to                  about an inch all over.

Question: How did people react to your decision to go natural?

Answer: A lot of people didn’t agree because I had “so much hair” that I just wasted.

Question: Do you feel that having gone natural has effect you in any way?

Answer: Yes, because thinking about what I put in my hair makes me think about what I put in my body more now. So, I tend to look at labels more, I’m not perfect at it but I’m getting there.

Question: Do you feel that it has affected your art or your music?

Answer: Yes, I don’t know why, but I feel more soulful and I can’t really explain the connection. Embracing my hair naturally makes me want to embrace my natural voice, I naturally have a soulful voice but I tend to try to seeing more poppy even though that is not really me.

Question: Where can we find J. Sheree?

Answer: You can find me probably at work, lol. No, seriously, I will be at Stone Soup in Ybor on Wednesdays and I am also local rapper Jonah’s mixtapes and have plans to feature on a few other local artists’ mixtapes. I am also working on the courage to become a regular at Sacred Grounds Slam and Open Mic at The Roosevelt 2.0.

Question: What can we expect from J. Sheree in 2013?

 Answer:I am working on doing more performances; I would love to do a mixtape if I am able to gain the right connects. Plus, I’m learning the guitar, so I and Lucille will be making a debut.

Question: What are your personal hair goals?

Answer: I want to be more consistent in keeping up with doing and maintaining the healthiness of my hair.

Question: What are your hair “guilty pleasures”?

Answer:  I would say that mine is straightening my hair.

Question: What is your favorite product to use in your hair?

Answer: My favorite product would probably be Shea Butter because it holds in my curls.

Question: Question: What is your signature hairstyle?

Answer: A curly side fro.

Question: What is your advice to other curlies who are working on their stage fright?

Answer: Don’t think too much about it, just do and continue to do.

Secret Life of the Bobby Pin

Secret Life of the Bobby Pin

As, we all know, bobby pins are a natural’s best friend. They are basically the cornerstone for every hairstyle that we create.

Not so very long ago, a friend of mine tagged me in a picture on Facebook that displayed the proper way to use a bobby pin. (displayed on the left.)

I immediately went into denial and/or conspiracy theory mode. I even thought someone made the picture to see how many people would fall for it and change the way they use their bobby pins. I know; crazy!

Anyway, I finally left my state of denial after buying a pack of curved bobby pins and finding that the curve was facing the side that I usually placed outward (displayed on the right) confirmed that my theories were all incorrect.

It turns out that the grooved side is supposed to be facing your scalp. The grooves were made to grasp the hair and secure it into place. While the flat side of it actually helps to move the hair into the grooves of the bobby pin.

Also, did you know why there are called bobby pins? In the 20’s women use to wear their hair in a style referred to as “bobbed” which basically looks like French waves but hanging, and the bobby pins were used to hold this style in place.

Here are a few other tips for your future bobby pin use:

·         Bobby pins are fairly inexpensive but still; do not skim on cost when picking your bobby pins.

·         Try your best to pick bobby pins that compliment your hair color, unless of course you are using them as an accessory.

·         Crossing the bobby pins can create a stronger hold.

·         They say that using your teeth to open the bobby pin compromises the integrity of the bobby pin, opening the bobby pin causes it to become loose. They are meant to just sliiiide into your hair. (I don’t know if I can get with this rule lol)

Well, this has been the secret life of the bobby pin exposed, I hope I wasn’t the only one still doing this wrong.

Day 1 of 365 Challenge

Day 1

Day 1: hopes, dreams and plans with a picture of yourself.

My aspirations for the next year of my life will be to get started on my book club, open mic and finish editing my novel and submit it to more publishing companies.

I plan to continue to commit myself to improving myself as a poet and growing as an artist in general.

I will finish and publish my second poetry book this year.

I will try and make myself more open to those around me and not let my fears dictate my social or personal life.

I will continue to dream and promote myself into financial independence.

I hope to continue to grow as a natural hair advocate and help people of color everywhere learn to love us as we are, whether natural or relaxed, and respect each other’s decisions to live our lives the way we please.

I will continue to improve both my health and my body.

I hope to be a much better me when I read this 364 days from now.

Southern Fried Top 25

    Southern Fried Top 25
Everything after #1 is in no particular order.
1) Sharing final stage with The Misfits, after losing 2 members and deciding
that we would leave it to fate, then fate gave us Ben B. and it was just like
home again. I never expected us to make it to final stage, but I am so proud
that we did and honored to have done it with you guys!
2) Those crab cakes at Hobnobbers, beignets from Café Du Monde and Po’ Boys &
daiquiris at Gene’s.
3) The random skateboarders that latched on to the truck we were riding back
to the hotel in. 
4) Gypsee Yo’s poem on final stage, ugh!
5) Sania’s daily commentary on my wardrobe choices. 
6) Walking down the street singing random songs with Brittany, Jessica, Nia
and Tasha to help the time pass. 
7) Seeing Lizz and Sania perform some of my favorite poems by them.
8) Watching Giddy and Made Son try to out love each other in the compliment
battle before the cypher at The Healing Center. 
9) The random facebook shout outs and text messages from back home with love
and support. 
10) The live band that we ran into after abandoning our trip to Armstrong Park
to watch live jazz because it looked like the sky was about to fall on us. 
11) The Thursday parade.
12) Watching Brittany perform her poem for her mother in the cypher, then
crying with her afterwards and hearing about Jessica singing for the SoFri
video.
13) Watching all the poets dance their hearts out at the after party.
14) The goodbye with Tank.
15) My “I Am Spoken” earrings made by Janelle.
16) Ha Sizzle giving us a taste of his bounce music hits while we were waiting
for our daiquiris. 
17) Deep’s poem about her daughter.
18) Denise’s poem about her grandmother. 
19) Hannah’s poem about the little girl victimized in Ohio.
20) Aleasha Harris’ pussy poem.
21) Sharing this experience with two people I have known nearly my whole life,
and one who will hopefully be around for the rest of it and having them
finally fully understand my love not only for poetry but for the family that I
have found through poetry. 
22) The beautiful undisturbed look of the city. 
23) Friday night’s bout against 215th which included two poets that I was so
intimidated and in awe of when I first showed up on the poetry scene, and
receiving so much love and support from them. 
24) All the gratitude that Wally B showed us, although if it wasn’t for him
and what he created in Tampa there would most likely be no Misfits and knowing
that he was proud of us was one of the greatest things that I left Southern
Fried with.
25) Not feeling like I wasted one moment sleeping that could’ve been spent
roaming the city or with the poets.
*bonus moment* Getting my first Southern Fried 30!

A Day in the Curls of Roseiby

A Day in the Curls of Roseiby

Q: To begin with, have you ever had a relaxer?

A: When I was younger my mother would take me to get it done but it’s been a while since I did it; I would say since 2001 when I was 14.

Q: At what age did you start getting relaxers?

A: I don’t remember, I really don’t and I don’t want to be inaccurate.

Q: Why did you make the decision to stop getting relaxers?

A: It was when I was older, and at the time I just did whatever I wanted to my hair. It was always my mom’s idea to get them. At that time I didn’t mind getting them because, honestly, I hated my hair. The kids at school would call me a Chia Pet when I was younger so, I felt so much better having straight hair I remember doing it once after moving to Florida. But, when I was old enough to start doing my own thing, I did.

Q: So, it sound like you did not like getting relaxers. How did you mom feel about your decision to no longer relax your hair?

A: My mom didn’t really care like, she wasn’t mad. I had heard that relaxers were bad for my hair so I didn’t want to do it anymore and people were always telling me I had "good hair" so I didn’t feel like I needed to do it anyway.

Q: Would you say that the decision to no longer relax your hair affected your attitude or view towards yourself or others in anyway? Or were you too young then for it to really effect you?

A: I just wanted to have long hair so when I heard that relaxers were "bad" I just stopped. But, after I stopped relaxing my hair I just wore it in a pony and didn’t really take care of it or even wore it in a poof for a long time.

Q: What about now? Do you feel that you have learned to manage your natural hair better as time went on?

A: I’m still learning. I kind of walked into my poofiness by accident. One time I washed it and didn’t do anything to it, just wore it down, and I got so many compliments on my curls! I would say this was around 2005/6ish so ever since then I just been wearing it like I wear it now; pretty much get up & go. It wasn’t until lately after talking to you and other naturalistas that I learned  about hair products that would help my puff become even greater so, I’m still learning and my poof is still a work in progress.

Q: Do you miss relaxers or do you think that you will ever go back to relaxers?

A: Hell to the nah, I will never go back to relaxers again! I don’t even trust keratin treatments, which have been suggested to me so many times.

Q: If you have a daughter, do you think that you will relax her hair?

A: NO, lol.  My friend asked me that the other day, I want my baby to have healthy hair and if it’s not curly like mine, I’ll just find other ways to take care of it. I really just don’t believe in relaxers anymore.

(Roseiby's imaginary daughter, lol)

Q: What is your favorite product to use in your hair?

A: I just recently bought a Shea Moisture Curl Smoothie for my hair which is really awesome and makes my hair smell really good.

Q: What is your signature hair style?

A: I like wearing my hair with a side part and creating like a side bang.

Q: What is your favorite thing about your hair now?

A: I love how it always sticks out, no matter where I go and it’s so soft.

Q: What is your guilty hair pleasure (something you do to your hair even though you know it is not necessarily good fort it)?

A: Sometimes, I flat iron it when I want to take a break from the curl world.

Q: What advice would you give little curlies who are insecure about their curls due to bullying?

A: I would say they’re just jealous. Not everyone is blessed to have crazy beautiful hair so embrace it! It used to hurt my feelings when the kids at school called me a Chia Pet, now I’ll take that and be proud! My big hair is definitely something I’m proud of & I hope to make it even bigger....take that Chia Pet!

Would you like to share your curl journey? Contact me at spokenheart_mf@aol.com and share your natural pride with the world!

 

Wicked Wednesdays

Wicked Wednesday

During a time where people of color were fighting daily to have our basic rights, there was a sub group of people that had a whole other struggle that was going unrecognized or maybe just devalued. While fighting next to men everyday in a war of equality, women were still struggling to be considered equal to their counterparts. Here are a few natural women that helped both people of color and women in general become recognized as people.

Elaine Brown

The Black Panther Party is praised for the work that it did for the Black community and the power and confidence it provided to our people. But, they still struggled to see women as equivalent. Elaine Brown was one of few female leaders in the Black Panther Party and was appointed by Huey Newton, himself. While in power she put a focus on community service and founded the Panthers Liberation School. She was once asked how she felt about being a Black Panther and answered with the following,"It meant surrendering our lives to something greater, which was the notion of, of getting rid of oppression and all the things that oppression meant and mean in this country for Black people and other people in the country."

Kathleen Cleaver

Kathleen Cleaver was the Communications Secretary of the Black Panther Party. She became involved with the party after meeting her future husband, Eldridge Cleaver, at a student conference at Fisk University. In addition to being the secretary she also was a spokesperson and press secretary for the party. When Huey Newton was jailed, she led the campaign to free him and she also placed third when she ran for California's 18th state assembly district as a member of the Peace and Freedom Party. She and her husband often found themselves being harassed by the police as a result of their dedication to the Black Panther Party.

Assata Shakur

Assata Shakur was also a member of the Black Panther Party and eventually left and became a member of the Black Liberation Movement. After being pulled over by a member of the New Jersey Police Department in 1973 she was shot twice and charged with the murder of a police officer. She and her comrade were convicted of murder even though there was no evidence of her having a weapon on her person or firing any weapons and sentenced to life in prison. She escaped from NJ Edna Mahan Correctional Facility after 6.5 Years and fled to Cuba. She still remains in Cuba and is revered as leader in the movement for the Black Liberation Movement, Student Rights Movement and The Movement to End the War in Vietnam.

Safiya Bukhari

Safiya Bukhrai became a part of the movement in 1969 when she intervened on behalf of a young Panther whom was being harassed by the police for selling the Party’s newspaper on a street corner. After defending the young Panther’s First Amendment right, she found herself handcuffed in the back of a police car. Her focuses as an activist were on community and welfare rights. She led self defense lessons, volunteered her time to the liberation school, sold the Black Panther paper, taught political education classes and even joined in the Breakfast for children program. After only being involved in the party for two years, she became the leader of the New York chapter’s Information and Communications. After her work with the Black Panther Party she also became involved with The Black Liberation Army. After her release from prison, where she served close to 9 years, she continued her work with a focus on political support for incarcerated political prisoners and former Panthers.

Tarika Lewis

Tarika Lewis is often recognized as the first woman to join the Black Panther Party. She found the party during her work in the Black Student Union at Oakland Tech where she led sit ins for Black studies courses. She has recounted many stories about the struggles of being a woman in the Black Panther Party. She recalls having to work harder than her male counterparts just to prove that she was equal to them and the threats of rape from police officers that were made to her and her female peers. She taught drill class and led political education sessions during her work as a Panther.

Don’t forget to send your favorite pictures of yourself and your natural looks to spokenheart_mf@aol.com to be featured in Wicked Wednesday!

Protective Style

Protective Style

Lately, I have been finding my hair to be a most burdensome task. I have no energy to do it every day or twist it up every night and I know that is the reason that my ends had become so split last time. So I have been trying to twist it up and do something to it often, but I usually only make it through a quarter of my hair each night before I give up.

I was considering either locking up or doing another big chop since Havana twist hair costs so much (13.99 per pack) and it was the only thing that seemed easy enough to do on my own.

Then I decided to get puffy twist. The only problem with this was that I didn’t really want to pay 50.00-150.00 just to get a hairstyle that won’t last me nearly long enough o justify it aannnddd, all the stylists that I reached out that would’ve been within a desirable price range did not know what puffy twists were.

Finally one of the stylists responded that she wasn’t aware what puffy twists were but she would Youtube them, then I thought, well hell I can Youtube them myself. So, I went and bought the hair and turned on my YET (Youtube Educational Television) and taught myself to do puffy twists.

I must say that I am very proud of myself and how they turned out and even more excited about the fact that I will not have to do my hair for at least a month, that is usually how long it takes my hair to get tired of these types of hairstyles.

Directions

1. To begin with, I bought 4 packs of hair.

2. I already had my hair in comb curls, so I just used those parts and split some in half that may have been too big. I didn’t want them very small though.

3. Before twisting each section I applied a leave in conditioner and sealed my ends with Shea Butter.

4. I secured the strands of hair and took a portion of the weave and wrapped it around the root of my hair.

5. I then criss crossed it under the root and began to plait it using the 2 strands of the weave wrapped around my hair and the third strand being my hair.

6. After plaiting for about 3 rotations, I split my hair in half and began twisting it with the other two pieces of hair like you would a regular 3 strand twist.

7. I then sealed the end of the twist with Shea Butter.

8. Repeat this process until the whole head is complete.

Are you trying anything new with your hair?