Habitual Offender

Habitual Offender

On July 8^th, I shared a story with you guys about a school that had proposed a new school dress code that would prohibit children from wearing most natural hairstyles claiming that they are distracting, unprofessional and faddish. After much opposition, that school quickly revised the dress code. But, Deborah Brown Community School seemed to be harboring similar feelings and had no intentions of making changes until a 7 year old child was forced to switch schools due to her locs.

It hurt my heart so deeply when I watched the video of this 7 year old girl crying because she had to switch schools due to her hair. Tiana’s father, a barber, stated that he takes pride in his children’s appearance and would never allow his child to leave his home not looking “presentable”. He even attempted to compromise with the school by discussing different styles that Tiana could wear in her hair to make it “less distracting”. But, after not being able to find the middle ground he decided that his daughter was not wanted at the school and it would be best to find another school for her.

While it was in the dress code since 2007 that dreds were considered an inappropriate, Tiana’s father states that she has wore her locs to school in the previous year and met no opposition. Deborah Brown Community School has decided that they will now allow students to wear faddish hairstyles, such as afros and locs, as long as they do not present a hygiene issue.  But, Tiana’s parents said that this does not change the fact that their daughter came home crying after her school made her believe that something was wrong with her.

When Tiana was asked how she felt, she choked back tears and stated “I think that they should let me have my dreds”.

Tiana's response to having to leave school <<--- click here!

Many people at the board meeting to make this change in dress code felt a great relief at this dress code change. A board member stated that there were more important things to tackle than hairstyles and too much energy had been invested in prohibiting this style in the past 10 days.

I have expressed before how important I think it is for our children to learn to love themselves exactly as they are and I am very happy that Tiana’s parents did not succumb to the school’s rules of discrimination. But, I do wonder how many other parents were faced with this dilemma and dimply changed their child’s hair as a way of saying that “this is life”. I do understand that we have to teach children that we are sometimes not able to do what we want, but we also have to know the difference. I could understand if Tiana was coming to school with neon purple and blue locs or something that was actually distracting. But, natural hairstyle such as afros and locs being banned as unprofessional is definitely not a lesson that we want to teach our children.

What is your opinion of the ban of these hairstyles as faddish?

How do you feel about children and natural hairstyles?

Would you have handled this differently?

Keep Your Afros at Home

Keep Your Afros at Home

Recently, a viewer and friend shared an article with me that left me feeling very confused. Natural hair and childhood is a subject that I am very passionate about.

I wasn’t allowed to get my first relaxer until the age of 13 and I was mad about it. But, I am very grateful for this now. I feel like this allowed me to enjoy being a child, I wasn’t allowed to wear weaves or too many elaborate hairdos because I was expected to be, act and appear as a child. This granted me the ability to escape vanity for a little while longer. I also feel like it helped me to learn to love myself without any additives.

I have spoken to many people before about how important it is for our little girls to love themselves as they come. As time passes, we will all be subject to the pressures of vanity but childhood is not the time to start.

We should be teaching our little girls to love their hair as it grows and their skin in its different shades. As oppose to burning the black off their scalp or hiding it beneath weaves. I am not saying that this will prevent them from ever getting a relaxer or even from becoming a high maintenance pinup doll. I can’t even pretend that I have fully escaped my hair prison. I am still sometimes wondering if my hair looks nice or professional enough, I am still getting questioned by friends as to what is a professional enough hairdo to wear to work. I still know naturals that wear weaves to work instead of their hair as to not offend anyone.

But, I do firmly believe it will help them appreciate themselves more and do less searching for that appreciation in others. And it will definitely help with this epidemic of young girls looking like grown women.

Below is a portion of the letter sent to parents highlighting the new dress code changes at Horizon Science Academy in Ohio.

Afro-puffs and small twisted braids, with our [sic] without rubberbands, are NOT permitted.”

But, I digress. This article left me mouth agape and teeth grinding. I understand that the ban has been lifted and this is supposed to reverse the damage. But, the fact that they had the nerve to make this ban in the first place is the very reason that we must allow our little girls to learn to love themselves as they come. Although it may not be an outright hate statement, this is all but a hate crime. This is a blatant example of how people of color are taught to hate themselves. It is a subliminal message to our little girls that their hair as it grows out of their scalp is so unacceptable that it is a violation of dress code to wear it to school.

They banned afro puffs, but they did not ban pig tails. So you can send your daughter to school with her hair in ponytails as long as they lay down and not stand up, like ours naturally does. This is so laugh to me, or should I say all I can do is laugh at this.

But, in some ways, I also find this encouraging. Maybe it means that we are doing a better job at turning our children against themselves, doing a better job at loving ourselves and it is becoming a threat.

Whatever the reason, please remember that this starts at home. We can blame the schools and the society as much as we want. But, if we are doing this to our own children then we have no room to complain.

What are your thoughts on children and relaxers/weaves/appearance?

 

Wicked Wednesday: Afros for Breast

Wicked Wednesday: Afros for Breast

Did you know that African American women leading cause of death is lung cancer? Or that the second highest cause of death is breast cancer? According to research, there will be 27,060 new discoveries of breast cancer in African American in this year alone and 6,080 African American women are expected to die from it.

While we do not have the highest rate amongst all races, we do have a pretty high rate for women under 45 and a mortality rate that is 41% higher than our Anglo Saxon counterpart.

African American Men are just as vulnerable to this disease as African American women. It is important that we recognize that this is not a gender based disease.

While we have improved on our screening rates, this is still a cause that we need to educate ourselves on. Education must go much deeper than pink ribbons and walks. We must learn about our genetic history and the signs to look out for. We must do regular checks and learn ourselves so that we will be able to catch any early signs. We must also encourage each other to become aware!

July is Breast Cancer Awareness month.

In today’s Wicked Wednesday we will be honoring naturals who have fought Breast Cancer.

Minnie Ripperton

Richard Roundtree

Marsha Hunt

Ernie Green

Audre Lorde

Edward Brooke

Wanda Sykes

http://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/Statistics.html#AfricanAmerican

http://www.breastcancer.org/research-news/20070406b

Genie Locs

Genie Locs

      I recently made the decision to test out Genie Locs aka Yarn Plaits as a protective style for my trip to New Orleans for Southern Fried 2013. I must say that I loved them but they are no easy feat.

      I watched several Youtube videos before I decided which method would be best to use when embarking upon this journey. According to my research I learned the following:

·         On average it takes about 17-22 hours to install

·         You must keep your hair oiled during the process because the yarn will dry it out

·         They can be a bit heavy

·         You must both knot and burn the ends

·         Do not burn the ends too long or it may cause discoloration of the yarn

Things I learned from my own experience:

·         They are extremely heavy when wet

·         It takes almost the same amount of time to take them out as it takes to put them in

·         It is a very cheap hairdo (one ball of yarn typically can cover the whole head)

·         You will need a nice strong gel to keep the ends of your hair contained (yuck)

Now let’s get to the how to’s.

      Things you will need

·         A ball of yarn of your color choice. (it is best to use acrylic yarn)

·         Scissors

·         A lighter

·         An oil of your choice (I used grapeseed and olive)

·         Gel of your choice (I used Gorilla Snot and Gummy)

·         Lots of patience

*You will most likely want to do a deep conditioning before placing this style in your head, whichever deep conditioning you would typically use before installing a protective style or weave. *

1.)  Decide how big and how long you want your genie locs. I did shorter 2 strands on my edges so that I would not weigh them down too much and longer 3 strands on the rest of my hair.

2.)  Cut the yarn into the length that you would like. (I found that it was easiest to cut up as much yarn as possible in one sitting so that the cutting process wouldn’t slow you down later.)

3.)  Oil the strands of yarn that you plan to use for your plait. This will help keep the yarn from drying out your hair as it is wrapped around it.

4.)  Decide the method that you would like to use. A lot of people use the crisscross method to start their plaits, I prefer to just loop it around my hair and start the plait.

5.)  Continue to plait your hair as normal using your real hair as the third strand until you have reached almost the bottom of your real hair.

a.  If you decided on using the 2 strand method then you will want to take one of the strand of yarn and place it with your real hair. (You will want to use gel to smooth down your ends with the yarn.) Then continue plaiting as normal and knot the end of the plait.

b.  If you decided on using the 3 strand method then you will want to take two strands of the yarn and place it with your real hair. (You will want to use gel to smooth down your ends with the yarn.) Then continue plaiting as normal and knot the end of the plait.

6.)  Repeat until whole head is finished.

7.)  Burn the ends of each plait and roll the ends in your fingertips while still warm to help seal them closed.

This is a very long tiresome process, but I did enjoy the look of it and it is a style that can last for quite a while. You will need to make sure that you keep the hair moisturized while in this style. I hope you enjoy!

And…if you do choose to give it a try, don’t forget to share pics by sending them to spokenheart_mf@aol.com.

Wicked Wednesday

 

Wicked Wednesdays

This week’s Wicked Wednesday will feature poets with natural hair in honor of National Poetry Month! By far, one of my favorite months of the year thanks to 30/30. Hope you enjoy this installation of Wicked Wednesday!

Gil Scott-Heron

ANGEL DUST

He was groovin'
and that was when he coulda sworn
the room was movin'
But that was only in his mind
He was sailin'
he never really seemed to notice
vision failin'
'cause that was all part of the high
Sweat was pourin' --
he couldn't take it
The room was exploding --
he might not make it.
Angel Dust/Please, children would you listen.
Angel Dust/Just ain't where it's at.
Angel Dust/You won't remember what you're
missin', but down some dead end streets
there ain't no turnin' back.

They were standin'
ev'rybody in a circle;
the whole family
listening to the preacher's words
Sis was cryin'
She alone held all the secrets
'bout his dyin'
tears fallin' to earth
Maybe her fault
He was so trusting
God only knew why
they was dustin'!
Angel Dust/Please children would you listen.
Angel Dust/Just ain't where it's at.
Angel Dust/You won't remember what you're
missin', but down some dead end streets
there ain't no turnin' back.

Carl Phillips

Custom

There is a difference it used to make,
seeing three swans in this versus four in that
quadrant of sky. I am not imagining. It was very large, as its
effects were. Declarations of war, the timing fixed upon for a sea-departure; or,
about love, a sudden decision not to, to pretend instead to a kind
of choice. It was dramatic, as it should be. Without drama,
what is ritual? I look for omens everywhere, because they are everywhere
to be found. They come to me like strays, like the damaged,
something that could know better, and should, therefore-but does not:
a form of faith, you've said. I call it sacrifice-an instinct for it, or a habit at first, that
becomes required, the way art can become, eventually, all we have
of what was true. You shouldn't look at me like that. Like one of those saints
on whom the birds once settled freely.

Carolyn M. Rodgers

From Space to Time

on a day when
we were dark
and not so full of
light
we met
    what did we find?
nothing.
everything, when we closed
our eyes
which anyway
had never been open.

once, we thought we
loved each other
       who can reverse
    time?
we tried.
we stepped out
of space
into some new
step of distance
and fell-
and not in love.

 Ai

Conversation

We smile at each other
and I lean back against the wicker couch.
How does it feel to be dead? I say.
You touch my knees with your blue fingers.
And when you open your mouth,
a ball of yellow light falls to the floor
and burns a hole through it.
Don't tell me, I say. I don't want to hear.
Did you ever, you start,
wear a certain kind of dress
and just by accident,
so inconsequential you barely notice it,
your fingers graze that dress
and you hear the sound of a knife cutting paper,
you see it too
and you realize how that image
is simply the extension of another image,
that your own life
is a chain of words
that one day will snap.
Words, you say, young girls in a circle, holding hands,
and beginning to rise heavenward
in their confirmation dresses,
like white helium balloons,
the wreathes of flowers on their heads spinning,
and above all that,
that's where I'm floating,
and that's what it's like
only ten times clearer,
ten times more horrible.
Could anyone alive survive it?

Mari Evans

The Rebel

When I
die
I'm sure
I will have a
Big Funeral ...

Curiosity
seekers ...
coming to see
if I
am really
Dead ...
or just
trying to make
Trouble ...

Cornelius Eady

Grief Bird

After those buildings fell,
And New York City stank from bad intent,
And the wind twirled with human pigment,
And the sky darkened in one spot and howled,

There we walked, newborn, holding flashlights and shovels,
Dusty with shock, the streets painted mad,
Ears still smarting from the evil crumble.

Now the combing, the sifting,
Now the hauling, the uncovering.
The astonished song.

Would you like to be featured in Wicked Wednesday? Submit your picture to spokenheart_mf@aol.com!

Wicked Wednesday

Wicked Wednesdays

This week’s Wicked Wednesday will feature poets with natural hair in honor of National Poetry Month! By far, one of my favorite months of the year thanks to 30/30. Hope you enjoy this installation of Wicked Wednesday!

 

Lucille Clifton

"poem to my uterus"

you uterus
you have been patient
as a sock
while i have slippered into you
my dead and living children
now
they want to cut you out
stocking i will not need
where i am going
where am i going
old girl
without you
uterus
my bloody print
my estrogen kitchen
my black bag of desire
where can i go
barefoot
without you
where can you go
without me

Quincy Troupe

"Snow & Ice"

ice sheets sweep this slick mirrored dark place
space as keys that turn in tight, trigger
pain of situations
where we move ever so slowly
              so gently into time - traced agony
the bright turning of imagination
so slowly
grooved through revolving doors, opening up to enter
mountains where spirits walk voices, ever so slowly
swept by cold, breathing fire
                        as these elliptical moments of illusion
link fragile loves sunk deep in snows as footprints
the voice prints cold black gesticulations
bone bare voices
              chewed skeletal choices
in fangs of piranha gales
spewing out slivers of raucous laughter
glinting bright as hard polished silver nails

 

Alice Walker

"THEY WHO FEEL DEATH"

(FOR MARTYRS)

They who feel death close as a breath
Speak loudly in unlighted rooms
Lounge upright in articulate gesture
Before the herd of jealous Gods

Fate finds them receiving
At home.

Grim the warrior forest who present
Casual silence with casual battle cries
Or stand unflinchingly lodged

In common sand
Crucified.

 

Robert Hayden

"Those Winter Sundays"

Sundays too my father got up early
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.

I'd wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.
When the rooms were warm, he'd call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house,

Speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love's austere and lonely offices?
   

Would you like to be featured in Wicked Wednesday? Submit your picture to spokenheart_mf@aol.com!

A Day in the Curls of Roseiby

A Day in the Curls of Roseiby

Q: To begin with, have you ever had a relaxer?

A: When I was younger my mother would take me to get it done but it’s been a while since I did it; I would say since 2001 when I was 14.

Q: At what age did you start getting relaxers?

A: I don’t remember, I really don’t and I don’t want to be inaccurate.

Q: Why did you make the decision to stop getting relaxers?

A: It was when I was older, and at the time I just did whatever I wanted to my hair. It was always my mom’s idea to get them. At that time I didn’t mind getting them because, honestly, I hated my hair. The kids at school would call me a Chia Pet when I was younger so, I felt so much better having straight hair I remember doing it once after moving to Florida. But, when I was old enough to start doing my own thing, I did.

Q: So, it sound like you did not like getting relaxers. How did you mom feel about your decision to no longer relax your hair?

A: My mom didn’t really care like, she wasn’t mad. I had heard that relaxers were bad for my hair so I didn’t want to do it anymore and people were always telling me I had "good hair" so I didn’t feel like I needed to do it anyway.

Q: Would you say that the decision to no longer relax your hair affected your attitude or view towards yourself or others in anyway? Or were you too young then for it to really effect you?

A: I just wanted to have long hair so when I heard that relaxers were "bad" I just stopped. But, after I stopped relaxing my hair I just wore it in a pony and didn’t really take care of it or even wore it in a poof for a long time.

Q: What about now? Do you feel that you have learned to manage your natural hair better as time went on?

A: I’m still learning. I kind of walked into my poofiness by accident. One time I washed it and didn’t do anything to it, just wore it down, and I got so many compliments on my curls! I would say this was around 2005/6ish so ever since then I just been wearing it like I wear it now; pretty much get up & go. It wasn’t until lately after talking to you and other naturalistas that I learned  about hair products that would help my puff become even greater so, I’m still learning and my poof is still a work in progress.

Q: Do you miss relaxers or do you think that you will ever go back to relaxers?

A: Hell to the nah, I will never go back to relaxers again! I don’t even trust keratin treatments, which have been suggested to me so many times.

Q: If you have a daughter, do you think that you will relax her hair?

A: NO, lol.  My friend asked me that the other day, I want my baby to have healthy hair and if it’s not curly like mine, I’ll just find other ways to take care of it. I really just don’t believe in relaxers anymore.

(Roseiby's imaginary daughter, lol)

Q: What is your favorite product to use in your hair?

A: I just recently bought a Shea Moisture Curl Smoothie for my hair which is really awesome and makes my hair smell really good.

Q: What is your signature hair style?

A: I like wearing my hair with a side part and creating like a side bang.

Q: What is your favorite thing about your hair now?

A: I love how it always sticks out, no matter where I go and it’s so soft.

Q: What is your guilty hair pleasure (something you do to your hair even though you know it is not necessarily good fort it)?

A: Sometimes, I flat iron it when I want to take a break from the curl world.

Q: What advice would you give little curlies who are insecure about their curls due to bullying?

A: I would say they’re just jealous. Not everyone is blessed to have crazy beautiful hair so embrace it! It used to hurt my feelings when the kids at school called me a Chia Pet, now I’ll take that and be proud! My big hair is definitely something I’m proud of & I hope to make it even bigger....take that Chia Pet!

Would you like to share your curl journey? Contact me at spokenheart_mf@aol.com and share your natural pride with the world!