Keep Your Afros at Home

Keep Your Afros at Home

Recently, a viewer and friend shared an article with me that left me feeling very confused. Natural hair and childhood is a subject that I am very passionate about.

I wasn’t allowed to get my first relaxer until the age of 13 and I was mad about it. But, I am very grateful for this now. I feel like this allowed me to enjoy being a child, I wasn’t allowed to wear weaves or too many elaborate hairdos because I was expected to be, act and appear as a child. This granted me the ability to escape vanity for a little while longer. I also feel like it helped me to learn to love myself without any additives.

I have spoken to many people before about how important it is for our little girls to love themselves as they come. As time passes, we will all be subject to the pressures of vanity but childhood is not the time to start.

We should be teaching our little girls to love their hair as it grows and their skin in its different shades. As oppose to burning the black off their scalp or hiding it beneath weaves. I am not saying that this will prevent them from ever getting a relaxer or even from becoming a high maintenance pinup doll. I can’t even pretend that I have fully escaped my hair prison. I am still sometimes wondering if my hair looks nice or professional enough, I am still getting questioned by friends as to what is a professional enough hairdo to wear to work. I still know naturals that wear weaves to work instead of their hair as to not offend anyone.

But, I do firmly believe it will help them appreciate themselves more and do less searching for that appreciation in others. And it will definitely help with this epidemic of young girls looking like grown women.

Below is a portion of the letter sent to parents highlighting the new dress code changes at Horizon Science Academy in Ohio.

Afro-puffs and small twisted braids, with our [sic] without rubberbands, are NOT permitted.”

But, I digress. This article left me mouth agape and teeth grinding. I understand that the ban has been lifted and this is supposed to reverse the damage. But, the fact that they had the nerve to make this ban in the first place is the very reason that we must allow our little girls to learn to love themselves as they come. Although it may not be an outright hate statement, this is all but a hate crime. This is a blatant example of how people of color are taught to hate themselves. It is a subliminal message to our little girls that their hair as it grows out of their scalp is so unacceptable that it is a violation of dress code to wear it to school.

They banned afro puffs, but they did not ban pig tails. So you can send your daughter to school with her hair in ponytails as long as they lay down and not stand up, like ours naturally does. This is so laugh to me, or should I say all I can do is laugh at this.

But, in some ways, I also find this encouraging. Maybe it means that we are doing a better job at turning our children against themselves, doing a better job at loving ourselves and it is becoming a threat.

Whatever the reason, please remember that this starts at home. We can blame the schools and the society as much as we want. But, if we are doing this to our own children then we have no room to complain.

What are your thoughts on children and relaxers/weaves/appearance?