Day 1 of 365 Challenge

Day 1

Day 1: hopes, dreams and plans with a picture of yourself.

My aspirations for the next year of my life will be to get started on my book club, open mic and finish editing my novel and submit it to more publishing companies.

I plan to continue to commit myself to improving myself as a poet and growing as an artist in general.

I will finish and publish my second poetry book this year.

I will try and make myself more open to those around me and not let my fears dictate my social or personal life.

I will continue to dream and promote myself into financial independence.

I hope to continue to grow as a natural hair advocate and help people of color everywhere learn to love us as we are, whether natural or relaxed, and respect each other’s decisions to live our lives the way we please.

I will continue to improve both my health and my body.

I hope to be a much better me when I read this 364 days from now.

A Day in the Curls of Roseiby

A Day in the Curls of Roseiby

Q: To begin with, have you ever had a relaxer?

A: When I was younger my mother would take me to get it done but it’s been a while since I did it; I would say since 2001 when I was 14.

Q: At what age did you start getting relaxers?

A: I don’t remember, I really don’t and I don’t want to be inaccurate.

Q: Why did you make the decision to stop getting relaxers?

A: It was when I was older, and at the time I just did whatever I wanted to my hair. It was always my mom’s idea to get them. At that time I didn’t mind getting them because, honestly, I hated my hair. The kids at school would call me a Chia Pet when I was younger so, I felt so much better having straight hair I remember doing it once after moving to Florida. But, when I was old enough to start doing my own thing, I did.

Q: So, it sound like you did not like getting relaxers. How did you mom feel about your decision to no longer relax your hair?

A: My mom didn’t really care like, she wasn’t mad. I had heard that relaxers were bad for my hair so I didn’t want to do it anymore and people were always telling me I had "good hair" so I didn’t feel like I needed to do it anyway.

Q: Would you say that the decision to no longer relax your hair affected your attitude or view towards yourself or others in anyway? Or were you too young then for it to really effect you?

A: I just wanted to have long hair so when I heard that relaxers were "bad" I just stopped. But, after I stopped relaxing my hair I just wore it in a pony and didn’t really take care of it or even wore it in a poof for a long time.

Q: What about now? Do you feel that you have learned to manage your natural hair better as time went on?

A: I’m still learning. I kind of walked into my poofiness by accident. One time I washed it and didn’t do anything to it, just wore it down, and I got so many compliments on my curls! I would say this was around 2005/6ish so ever since then I just been wearing it like I wear it now; pretty much get up & go. It wasn’t until lately after talking to you and other naturalistas that I learned  about hair products that would help my puff become even greater so, I’m still learning and my poof is still a work in progress.

Q: Do you miss relaxers or do you think that you will ever go back to relaxers?

A: Hell to the nah, I will never go back to relaxers again! I don’t even trust keratin treatments, which have been suggested to me so many times.

Q: If you have a daughter, do you think that you will relax her hair?

A: NO, lol.  My friend asked me that the other day, I want my baby to have healthy hair and if it’s not curly like mine, I’ll just find other ways to take care of it. I really just don’t believe in relaxers anymore.

(Roseiby's imaginary daughter, lol)

Q: What is your favorite product to use in your hair?

A: I just recently bought a Shea Moisture Curl Smoothie for my hair which is really awesome and makes my hair smell really good.

Q: What is your signature hair style?

A: I like wearing my hair with a side part and creating like a side bang.

Q: What is your favorite thing about your hair now?

A: I love how it always sticks out, no matter where I go and it’s so soft.

Q: What is your guilty hair pleasure (something you do to your hair even though you know it is not necessarily good fort it)?

A: Sometimes, I flat iron it when I want to take a break from the curl world.

Q: What advice would you give little curlies who are insecure about their curls due to bullying?

A: I would say they’re just jealous. Not everyone is blessed to have crazy beautiful hair so embrace it! It used to hurt my feelings when the kids at school called me a Chia Pet, now I’ll take that and be proud! My big hair is definitely something I’m proud of & I hope to make it even bigger....take that Chia Pet!

Would you like to share your curl journey? Contact me at spokenheart_mf@aol.com and share your natural pride with the world!

 

Oil Pulling

Oil Pulling

Recently, a close friend of mine introduced me to the ancient Ayurveda process known as oil pulling. Oil pulling is a technique of pulling the toxins out of your body through your gums. It is said to be a total; healing process for your body and assist with illnesses such as: gingivitis, halitosis, eczema, ulcers, diseases of the stomach and much more. It is also believed to assist with the whitening of teeth, which I have noticed during my short time doing this process. It is not an easy process and also not very enjoyable; but the health benefits are well worth it. Listed below are the steps.

1. On an empty stomach pour one tablespoon of Sesame Oil into your mouth. Other oils that are popularly used are Pure Olive Oil, Coconut Oil and Sunflower Oil but, Sesame Oil is the recommended oil. It is recommended to be done in the morning before eating or drinking; if you choose to do it later or multiple times day then it should be done 4 hours after eating and 1 hour after drinking.

2. Move the oil around in your mouth without swallowing it (as it will become filled with the toxins and parasites that are being removed from your body). Do not gargle it, but move it around like mouthwash. You do not have to swish it around vigorously, just in a relaxed manner. You should swish it around in your mouth for 15-20 minutes without swallowing or spitting.

      Once the oil has become filled with the toxins it will start to turn white and thin from being mixed with your saliva.

3. Once you have reached your time limit, spit the oil out and rinse your mouth with warm salt water. While this step is optional, the salt acts as a antimicrobial, helps to mollify inflammation and helps to rid any toxins that may have stuck around after the spitting.

You’re done!

This process can be done every morning or a couple times a week, whichever you are most comfortable with. But, please understand that this is not an overnight detoxification. It takes time to see results, but your health, your teeth and your breath will thank you for it!

What are some natural health techniques that you indulge in?

Walgreens Sale

Walgreens Sale

Ladies and Gentleman, may I have your attention puhleeeezzz!!!!

I stopped by Walgreens this morning to re-up on nearly the only product I use in my hair, Organix. While in the store I became filled with joy to find that it was on sale, bogo, along with a lot of other great popular natural products. I decided to share my wealth with you guys. I hope that you find somehting that can help you, if not then go try Organix brand. My tope three are the Coconut Milk shampoo, conditioner and serum for softness and smell good, Morroccan shampoo and conditioner for shine and softness and the Keratin shampoo and conditioner to battle shrinkage.

- Optimum Brand Products
- Luster's Pink Sheen Hair Spray
- Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Moisturizing Shampoo (I love the long lasting moisture that this shampoo provides!) and other Herbal Essences products
- Nubiam Heritage Products
- As I Am Products (The only thing that keeps me from being a product junkie is money, but I have always wanted to try this expensive brand and a large number of their products are also on sale. )
-  Agadir Argan Oil Products
- Organix Brand Products

I hope that you find something that you like on this list!

What is your favorite product to use?

A Curl's Best Friend

A Curl’s Best Friend

I think that we, naturals, all have a go to style when the new style fails or we just don’t know what to do with our hair. Personally, in my car I keep an emergency kit for days when I’m just not feeling pretty enough, its super girly but whatever, and don’t have my usual vices. The items in my emergency kit include: bobby pins, perfume, a brush, some moisturizer, mascara, lip gloss, red lipstick and a pair of earrings.

Those are the bare minimums that I feel I need to pull my look together when i'm not feeling my prettiest.

Below is a list of "in case of emergency" items for most naturals. Some are interchangeable, like I would prefer to keep bobby pins in my car/purse over a scarf, but it all depends on how you look to wear your natural.

Moisturizer: sometimes the only thing to revive yours curls/fro is a little moisturizer, whatever your little indulgence is, it is always best to keep a little bit on you. I keep a little jar of coconut oil in my car, since I tend to do my hair in the parking lot at work (I am not an early bird). Also a little moisturizer can replace gel, I personally don’t like gel, so I like to use moisturizer to help tame my hair and pull it into place.

Bobby pins: almost all naturals can agree that bobby pins are like the second most important tool next to moisturizer. Bobby pins are the secrets behind most of the amazing hairdos, or the trick to a quick up do when you bantu knots don’t work out or your twist out just looks twisted.

Scarf: another item that I like to keep in my car is a scarf, for days when I don’t feel like fidgeting with bobby pins or just feel super discouraged. A lot of naturals I know are whizzes with head wraps, unfortunately I am not one of those naturals. I like to use my scarf to swoop my hair into a ponytail, since it only looks like a pony in the scrunchie, and then make a nice bow at the top.

Hair Bow: this item is also dependent on your comfort zone, I also don’t feel like my hair plays well with bows, but I love and envy them on other naturals. A bow can definitely be used to spring your hair to life.

Brush/Gel: if you like to use gel, then a brush obviously goes hand in hand. In the event that your hair doesn’t suit your needs, you can grab your brush, gel and bobby pins and create a totally new creation.

My favorite go to style is the faux hawk, what is yours? Or what do you keep in your emergency hair/beauty kit?

Natural Love

Natural Love

What better way to celebrate this day of love then with a little Natural Hair Porn: Couple’s Edition!

Hope you enjoy!

Wicked Wednesdays

Wicked Wednesdays

It’s that time of the week again!

Happy Weeeddnnneesssday!

Don’t forget to share your hair porn with us as well!

Submit all pictures to spokenheart_mf@aol.com

Hair Porn (Cree Summers)

Shawna getting ready for an open mic!

Hair Porn (Kim Wayans)

Media Mouth Mel showing off her new cut!

Hair Porn (Lauryn Hill)

Chrissy getting ready for an evening out!

Look Ma, No Fears!

Look Ma, No Fears!

During my time as a natural hair advocate, I have run into a number of naturals who are still afraid to wear their hair just as it is. I understand! I am not exempt. There are times when I fall under the spell of needing to "do my hair" before I can walk out the door. But, it is something that I have been working on since I started growing my hair. My mama always said I was a wild one, so it may be easier for me to adjust to my unruly mane but I also want to encourage my other curlies. So, I want to share with all of you what I share with them.

     I love being natural, because I feel like it is my middle finger to the world. I mean to say that I feel like it is my way of telling others that I do not need to conform to any standard of beauty in order to feel beautiful. I do not need to comb out my naps, nor do I need to flat iron or shove them into a rubber band. God gave them to me in this big puff because that is how she decided I would look best. If women with flowing tresses do not have to be ashamed or alter the way their hair grows out of their scalps, then why should we?

     Now I know, it can be a lot to deal with, on those days I like to get out of bed, give my fro a little tug back to life and get on with my day. I want all women and men who choose to go down this journey to be able to feel the same way. It isn’t easy with people constantly in our ears saying "When you gone do your hair?" or the side eyes of disgust shooting through our fros trying to lay them down. But, who cares? If it’s not your hair then it will be your outfit or your makeup or anything else that someone can find to criticize. You will never be perfect enough for this world, but you can always be perfect enough for yourself.

     I want to challenge all my fearful naturals to just wake up one morning and fluff out that fro, give it a little shine and walk out the door (after you get dressed, of course). Feel the freedom running through your coils from not trying to make your fro fit in. It’s a fro baby! Once you started down this road, you left fitting in behind! Don't use that scarf to hide your fro anymore, use it to accent it!

     Please, keep taking care of your hair. But, don’t be afraid to just let it be sometimes! The point of being natural is to be natural!

P.S. I also worked on my fears! In my hand below are the clipped ends of my fro! It only hurt a little! I’m so excited about the growth that I made room for! And yours too ;)

    

It's The Little Things.....

It’s The Little Things...

One of the things that I was most excited about sharing with you guys on this blog, other than natural hair, was my iguana Onyx aka Bubba. But, she passed away recently before I could even introduce you guys.

Bubba was given to me for my 22^nd birthday by my girlfriend Giddy and had become a very big part of our lives. Giddy had even just built her a new home to live, a big 6’ by 3’ mansion and she loved it. When Bubba passed I found myself in very unfamiliar territory. I used to be one of those people who made fun of people who cried over their pets and here I was sitting on my closet floor crying and trying to convince myself that Bubba was just a pet. But, she wasn’t, Bubba was family and a loss is a loss.

After that, I avoided my living room at all cost, not only because that is where she lived and where her big new mansion still sat in the corner in constant reminder that I no longer had my Bubba Luva but also because she had died in the living room. Everyone kept saying to get a new pet and I was like:
“Broooo, I don’t know. She just died; I can’t deal if something happened to another pet.”

Then on this past weekend Giddy called me and told me she had found a red iguana and wanted to know if I’d be willing to go look at it because she thought she was ready to have a new pet. I was willing to try but with certain rules, no iguanas smaller than Bubba.

We visited the pet store and met this little Pheonix and he was beautiful but skittish, which made me nervous. We decided he was too small and to go on an adventure. We ended up at a different pet store; saw 3 more iguanas and they were all too small. Then the guy asked if we had seen the Chinese Water Dragons. He escorted us to the back of the store and brought out this tiny little creature who crawled onto my finger and perched herself there. She was calm and cool, exactly what we needed, but tiny. So he bought out a bigger one and gave it to Giddy and the bigger one immediately jumped out of her hands and started going crazy, so we knew he wasn’t a match. Then I went to give the smaller one back to the guy who was helping us and she proceeded to crawl further up my hand and continued resting, felt like it was choosing me.

But, was she too small?

Meet Matilda
(We don’t know if it’s a girl or boy yet, lol)

The loss of Bubba has helped me appreciate a lot. But, it has definitely helped me appreciate Matilda more. I enjoyed my time with Bubba even though it was cut short, but now I wish I had spent more time interacting with her. We can all become so caught up in our lives that we forget to spend time with the things and people that we love. Bubba taught me responsibility and also made me aware of what responsibilities I am not ready for (i.e.; parenthood). She taught me that it is perfectly okay to cry over losing a pet and that you are never too cool to be human. Every day I come home excited to see Matilda and make sure I spend time with her and even attempt to feed her those scary lil crickets (Giddy is better at it than me).

Do you have any pets? If so, what have they taught you?

Natural Hair Pet Peeves

Natural Hair Pet Peeves

 

 

We all have them!

So let’s talk about them!

There are so many stigmas that come with natural hair, twice as much curiosity, and three times as much work, lol!

Here is a list of my "Natural Hair Pet Peeves".

1. First of all, anyone that knows me (or has read any of my past posts) knows that the one thing that irks me most is other women saying:

"I can’t go natural, my hair too nappy!"

I just want to scream:

"Do you think this afro on my head is made of clouds?":

I mean its soft, don’t get me wrong. But, please don’t confuse my light skin for some sort of pass into nap free hair. I don’t have good hair because I’m mixed and I still have to straddle with the monster I like to call Dandelion every day. What I do have is patience and love for my natural hair, which allows me to work through the naps to find the curls.

2. Secondly, and almost equally annoying, are people who think that they took a trip to the petting zoo whenever they come in my presence. NO! YOU CANNOT TOUCH MY HAIR! It’s like people lose their entire home training when they see an afro. As stated previously, it takes a lot of work to achieve any sort of hair do with my natural hair and what I don’t need is a lot of strange hands ripping my hair do apart or smashing my fro into my scalp. But, there is one exception to this rule, the only people who can ask this question without receiving side looks are naturals.

3. People who question my or any other curl head’s "naturalness" because of weaves or dying. That’s it!

The rest of these pet peeves will be in no particular order.

·         I cannot stand when people act as if I must "tame" my hair in order to make it presentable. Afros are obviously not a "tame" beast and if I desired a tame look, then I would relax my hair.

·         Also, I hate the way my hair never wants to participate in an amazing hairdo more than once. There are at least 3 hairdos that I have tried to remake time and time again and only end up with a tolerable generic version.

·         Also, I hate when only half of my head decides to participate in a hairdo. So then I have half a head of curls and half a head of fro.

·         I think this next one goes for all naturals, as much as I love Marsha Ambrosius and Erykah Badu, I get tired of being compared to them in both looks and style just because I have natural hair.

·         Another natural hair burden is the achy arm/crampy hand syndrome. You know, from when you have your hands stuck in the up position for about an hour twisting up your hair before you go to bed? I don’t even have to work my arms at the gym anymore, lol.

·         On the same note, I hate when my shirts become spotty from spritzing my hair with oils.

·         I have no appreciation for people who are misleading about being natural; people who pretend that it is easy in order to convince others to be natural as well. It is true, that some people like to be more involved than others in their natural journey (i.e.: homemade d.c.s and researching the contents of every product before use) and their process may make it seem harder. But, it is not easy for anyone, unless you do nothing to your own hair and only allow your hair stylist to maintain it for you, which could then lead to unhealthy hair if it is not being taken care of properly in between visits.

·         I can’t stand a "church natural"! You know the ones who stop getting relaxers and still walk around with their new growth smell on, preaching to others about the evils of the creamy crack and how we were brain washed into hating ourselves, while they still got lye residue on their scalps? Not saying that we do not need to educate each other, but it is also not our job to judge each other. We all go on our natural hair journeys for different reasons and while we should support each other through them, we also must keep in mind that it is not our job to force our views on any person. Wearing a relaxer does not mean that one hates themselves or that they are ignorant, sometimes it just means that they prefer themselves relaxed!
                 What are you natural hair pet peeves?

Happy Nappy Complex

 

 

Happy Nappy Complex

 

You would think with this natural hair movement going on in America I would finally stop hearing stupid questions like: "can i touch your hair?"
or even more annoying: " Girl when you gone do something with your hair?"
or most annoying of all statements from black women about how they cant quit the creamy crack because they hair too nappy,
that's like black men saying they don't date black women because they have too much attitude,
we just weren't made to lay down
soooo
Forget what ya heard
because i am my hair
this disorganized chaos is me at my best
twisted, picked and pinned up on the left
braided, plaited or all over my head
even when I'm hungry my hair get fed
mayonnaise, honey, eggs, coconut oil
cinnamon and oats stretch from curl to curl
or should i say strand to strand
cause my hair be just as confused as the curious hands
that flock to my fro like flies
oblivious to my rolling eyes
but most of the time, i don't really care
even i cant stop touching my hair
especially since i tend to be a product junkie
Shea Moisture, Organix, my hair is my personal little lab monkey
and I'm rarely afraid to experiment
whether with avocado guts or some electric blue tint
YouTube has become an educational source since Dec 210
before that it was low fades and earrings bigger than big
now its Afro that reach our for God
3 strand twists and Bantu knots
its like my hair embodies versatility
and an uncanny ability
to display the definition of just chill
a mind of it's own, it does whatever it feels
and i just get to accent it
I'm usually quite meek but bring up my hair and it gets passionate
so many reasons a woman of color should never be ashamed of her crown
when they get to be preaching bout they naps i cant help but frown
ain't no such thing as bad hair just hair that's misunderstood
we just need to rethink our definition of good
cause too many women with the bone straight be wishing they hair stood proud like ours
be wishing they could make fros that looked like chocolate clouds
now I'm not bashing the relaxed just saying if they wanna know the meaning of undisturbed
they should kick that creamy crack to the curb
and come rock with this real stuff
this shocking face at how good it feels stuff
this hop out the bed and fluff it out swag
wash and go, smelling like a fruit snack
its a lesson in patience but a bigger lesson in self love
a test of confidence and just when you've had enough
it helps u find a friend that can pry from your hand the box of creamy crack
understand the criticism and helps u snap back
so despite my love for India i just cant agree
cause my hair says almost everything there is to say about me
©, 2012, Spokenheart

From "Abnormal Behavior" by Spokenheart available for purchase at http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Spokenheart

Wicked Wednesdays

Wicked Wednesdays

Where I come from Wednesdays are the days we celebrate life, love, friendship and artistry. We even have a chant for it, though it's really simple. It consist of us screaming:

It's Weednneessssday!

So what better way to celebrate Wednesday than to showcase naturals here and far?
 

Tank of Tank & The Bangas

Hair Porn

 

Ebony Payne, mentor

 

Hair Porn

 

 

RocXii Mitchell, designer

Hair Porn

 

Send your pictures of your favorite styles to Spokenheart_mf@aol.com!