Can I Touch Your Hair?

 

Can I Touch Your Hair?

I have always been caught in the middle when it came to the subject of touching my hair.

Now, if it’s another natural asking to touch it then I will gracefully bow down and rub my fro in your face, lol.

But, if it is a non natural then it would really be like Russian roulette to ask me such a question. There would be so many factors to consider before answering that question.

·         First, will allowing you to touch my hair ruin anything that my hair is currently doing?

·         Am I sober? (you have better chances if I’m not)

·         Do you look like you will say something that will piss me off?

·         Do I look like a petting zoo?

I mean really, the list can go on for days.

But, recently, one of my natural hair muses, Taren Guy, stood in Union Square with a group of other natural women holding signs that read "You can touch my hair." This campaign was done with the intentions of starting conversations that would allow them to educate others about natural hair, about the concept of good hair vs. bad hair and about the taboo behind a nice big fro.

This campaign was not met without opposition. There was also a group of naturals with signs that read "You cannot touch my hair" and other more colorful statements. These girls argued that it is not our job to educate others about our hair and we should not degrade ourselves to a petting zoo in order to help others understand us.

I can understand why these women feel this way, but how can we promote change without education.

I think this campaign has had a definite effect on the way that I will handle this question when approached in the future. This is not to say that my fro will become open for business, but I will be less discriminating about whom I allow to cop a feel.

What is your opinion? Should we be more open to the afro illiterate?

Bass Ackwards Compliments

Bass Ackwards Compliments

Don’t you hate when people start staring at your hair and saying those things that are meant to make you feel good but leave your face twitched and your hands itching?

There is nothing more annoying than the ignorant, backwards natural hair compliment. Well, honestly, any backwards compliment is nerve grinding. But, of all the backwards compliments that one can give me, it is the natural hair ones that get me riled up the most.

So let’s make a list of these backwards compliments and the real responses that we want to give:

·         Do you have a texturizer?

o    No! I have curly hair, as hard as it is to believe, natural hair is not the equivalent of a used rug and if you pulled your head out of your stereotypes then you would be able to see that natural hair is curls!

·         I can’t believe how soft it is!

o    I can’t believe how ignorant you are! (lol) But seriously, don’t you get tired of people acting like afro is a synonym of pot scrapers.

·         I always thought dreds were so dirty?!

o    Did you think that people became allergic to shampoo after locing their hair?

·         Your hair would look so good straightened!

o    But, not as good as it does natural!

·         My daughter/son is mixed; I wish she/he had hair more like yours…

o    Stop reproducing for vain looks, just because you like my hair like doesn’t mean that your kid would like my hair like this! Teach them to love themselves how they appear.

·         Are you from the islands?

o    As if, a regular black woman from Florida couldn’t wear her hair with pride?

·         I wish that I didn’t have to do anything to my hair, like you.

o    (This one makes me want to throw on my exorcist voice and start spinning my head. Okay that was a bit dramatic, but seriously!) What I want to say is: Please don’t confuse this effortless look for ease! It takes a lot of work to wear twist outs, keeping our hair shiny and looking longer than 2 inches after retaining length for the past 3 years!

I know, some people are thinking well zayumn, “what can I say about her hair?” It’s simple, if you like it, say so. Even if it you are surprised that it is so soft you can say that; because I do a lot of work to keep it soft and shiny! But don’t say it like black hair is a curse that I somehow managed to get lucky enough to escape from. Don’t say it like it my hair used to be some myth that you just disproved. Don’t say it like my hair is almost good enough for you. Give me a compliment like you would give any other person a compliment or keep your half hearted words to yourself!

What are the bass ackwards hair compliments that kink your curls?