Bad Natural Hair Habits

Bad Natural Hair Habits

1. Clean your brushes! I don’t mean removing those strands of hair from your brush when you get done detangling in the shower, I mean actual cleaning. Just like your scalp builds up product over time, your brush does the same as it removes the product from your hair and leaving it dirty pretty much makes it pointless.

2. Playing with hair! My second biggest weakness. This creates frizz and your dirty hands can contaminate your curls.

3. Malnourished curls! Natural hair requires more moisture, so we must condition it at least once a week. There are those of us who feel our hair collects too much moisture, but I am sure that we know how to handle this if it is the case. But, if you are one who complains about your hair being too dry, maybe you should try a DC regimen for a while. Deep conditioning helps to smooth the cuticle, which results in more definition while styling

4. Curl lust! Stop spending so much time wanting others’ curls and spend some time getting to know and love your own curls. Once we start taking care of our own hair, we may then be the next Solange or Tracee Ellis Ross.

5. Lack of knowledge! You cannot leave it all to your stylist, even if you go to the stylist on a weekly basis, who is taking care of your hair in between visits? If you are not taking care of your own hair then you can never achieve the maximum health potential or hair potential.

6. No more rat-tial combs! We changed our hair, so we must change our hair care tools. Gentle detangling using your fingers, wide tooth combs, and Denmark brushes will be the best way to retain length and avoid pain.

7. Letting it all hang out! I love to just wake up and go, but this isn’t always the best idea because our ends need to be protected if we want to keep them.

8. Sleeping unprotected! This is a bad habit that I find hardest to break. I always find some excuse to not wrap my hair or most times I’m too lazy for an excuse, let alone wrapping. Although, I am fully aware that this is the cause of most of my split ends. Sigh.

9. Not trimming enough/or trimming too much. Ends split! That’s just the truth about it. We do not have to cut off an inch of hair every month because our ends feel unkempt. But, we must find a balance, maybe a schedule of how often you trim your hair.

10.      Retwisting your locs too often. This can cause your hair to become built up with too much product and your pores to become clogged. This can also cause your strands to thin and break.

Do you have any other bad hair habits that you are working on breaking?

Day 23 of 365

Day 23 of 365

Day 23: a month/year of your life when you were happiest and why

I think one of the happiest months of my life, thus far, was May of 2010.

It was my first birthday spent in my own place, after a rough patch in life. I was surrounded by people that cared about me. I was getting to know my girlfriend, still in that cutesy stage, lol. (We still cute though!)  I was turning 21, so of course that felt major. I was becoming more confident as a poet.

It was just a beautiful time in life.

Can I Touch Your Hair?

 

Can I Touch Your Hair?

I have always been caught in the middle when it came to the subject of touching my hair.

Now, if it’s another natural asking to touch it then I will gracefully bow down and rub my fro in your face, lol.

But, if it is a non natural then it would really be like Russian roulette to ask me such a question. There would be so many factors to consider before answering that question.

·         First, will allowing you to touch my hair ruin anything that my hair is currently doing?

·         Am I sober? (you have better chances if I’m not)

·         Do you look like you will say something that will piss me off?

·         Do I look like a petting zoo?

I mean really, the list can go on for days.

But, recently, one of my natural hair muses, Taren Guy, stood in Union Square with a group of other natural women holding signs that read "You can touch my hair." This campaign was done with the intentions of starting conversations that would allow them to educate others about natural hair, about the concept of good hair vs. bad hair and about the taboo behind a nice big fro.

This campaign was not met without opposition. There was also a group of naturals with signs that read "You cannot touch my hair" and other more colorful statements. These girls argued that it is not our job to educate others about our hair and we should not degrade ourselves to a petting zoo in order to help others understand us.

I can understand why these women feel this way, but how can we promote change without education.

I think this campaign has had a definite effect on the way that I will handle this question when approached in the future. This is not to say that my fro will become open for business, but I will be less discriminating about whom I allow to cop a feel.

What is your opinion? Should we be more open to the afro illiterate?

Go Curly for a Cause

Go Curly for a Cause

Pledge to #wearyourhaircurly August 14th! Fructis Style will help send a girl to rock camp.
I'm rockin' my curls.
If you are too then make the pledge at the following link:

http://bit.ly/14pOPRt

Wicked Wednesday

Wicked Wednesday

In honor of Monday’s post about teaching our children to love themselves, this week’s Wicked Wednesday installment will feature the curly kiddies!

Enjoy!

Don't foget you can always submit your photos to be included in Wicked Wednesday by sending them to spokenheart_mf@aol.com!

Day 16 of 365

Day 16 of 365

Day 16: Someone you trust.

For some people this would be considered a hard question due to lack of trust, for me it is hard because I trust all the people that are closest to me.

I’m not sure what the rules are in this situation.

So I’ll just list them, lol.

I trust:

My girlfriend

My sister

& My best friends.

Keep Your Afros at Home

Keep Your Afros at Home

Recently, a viewer and friend shared an article with me that left me feeling very confused. Natural hair and childhood is a subject that I am very passionate about.

I wasn’t allowed to get my first relaxer until the age of 13 and I was mad about it. But, I am very grateful for this now. I feel like this allowed me to enjoy being a child, I wasn’t allowed to wear weaves or too many elaborate hairdos because I was expected to be, act and appear as a child. This granted me the ability to escape vanity for a little while longer. I also feel like it helped me to learn to love myself without any additives.

I have spoken to many people before about how important it is for our little girls to love themselves as they come. As time passes, we will all be subject to the pressures of vanity but childhood is not the time to start.

We should be teaching our little girls to love their hair as it grows and their skin in its different shades. As oppose to burning the black off their scalp or hiding it beneath weaves. I am not saying that this will prevent them from ever getting a relaxer or even from becoming a high maintenance pinup doll. I can’t even pretend that I have fully escaped my hair prison. I am still sometimes wondering if my hair looks nice or professional enough, I am still getting questioned by friends as to what is a professional enough hairdo to wear to work. I still know naturals that wear weaves to work instead of their hair as to not offend anyone.

But, I do firmly believe it will help them appreciate themselves more and do less searching for that appreciation in others. And it will definitely help with this epidemic of young girls looking like grown women.

Below is a portion of the letter sent to parents highlighting the new dress code changes at Horizon Science Academy in Ohio.

Afro-puffs and small twisted braids, with our [sic] without rubberbands, are NOT permitted.”

But, I digress. This article left me mouth agape and teeth grinding. I understand that the ban has been lifted and this is supposed to reverse the damage. But, the fact that they had the nerve to make this ban in the first place is the very reason that we must allow our little girls to learn to love themselves as they come. Although it may not be an outright hate statement, this is all but a hate crime. This is a blatant example of how people of color are taught to hate themselves. It is a subliminal message to our little girls that their hair as it grows out of their scalp is so unacceptable that it is a violation of dress code to wear it to school.

They banned afro puffs, but they did not ban pig tails. So you can send your daughter to school with her hair in ponytails as long as they lay down and not stand up, like ours naturally does. This is so laugh to me, or should I say all I can do is laugh at this.

But, in some ways, I also find this encouraging. Maybe it means that we are doing a better job at turning our children against themselves, doing a better job at loving ourselves and it is becoming a threat.

Whatever the reason, please remember that this starts at home. We can blame the schools and the society as much as we want. But, if we are doing this to our own children then we have no room to complain.

What are your thoughts on children and relaxers/weaves/appearance?

 

Day 13 of 365

Day 13 of 365

Day 13: your favorite quote

Ink runs from the corners of my mouth.

There is no happiness like mine.

I have been eating poetry.

This is my favorite quote because it nearly summarizes how i feel during the happiest moments of my life and a feelig that I hope to feel as much as possible.

Organix Product Review

Organix Product Review

Anybody that knows me knows that I am an Organix product junkie!

I have even gone so far as to call as to call the Coconut Milk line my hair soul mate.

Today I will be reviewing this amazing product line based on the experiences that I have had with the different products that I have tried.

Coconut Milk

Website description: Coconut milk and ultra whipped egg white proteins along with weightless coconut oil to hydrate and nourish your hair as gentle cleansers wash away impurities.

ShampooI really enjoyed this shampoo. This is definitely my favorite of the different lines that I have tried from Organix. I enjoyed the sudsiness of this shampoo and the amazing smell. It left my hair feeling clean but not stripped.

Conditioner

Once again, this is definitely my favorite conditioner that I have used thus far. It left my hair feeling soft and well moisturized. I honestly do not have any downfalls to using these shampoos and conditioners.

Anti Breakage Serum
 I thoroughly enjoyed the anti breakage serum. It made my hair feel very smooth and look very shiny. The only problem is that it is a little thick so it is not easy to transfer all from your hands to your hair.

Weightless Styling Mousse
This is probably the only product from the Coconut Milk line that I did not enjoy. This left my hair feeling a little stringy.

Brazilian Keratin Therapy

Website description: Transform your hair into silky smooth locks with this exclusive blend of coconut oils, keratin proteins, avocado oil and cocoa butter.

ShampooI did not enjoy this shampoo very much at all. I assumed that with this nice blend of ingredients that this would be to die for, I know I should have known that it wasn’t going to be the best due to it being for Keratin Therapy. But, I do recommend for anyone that does use the Keratin in their hair.

Conditioner
I did find this conditioner to be useful in helping with shrinkage. I do not like to use it alone, but I typically mix it with some of my Coconut Milk conditioner and it really helps with stretching my hair and leaves it feeling great!

Macadamia Oil

Website description: Drench your strands in an ultra-moisturizing luxurious formula infused with nutrient rich macadamia oil to instantly hydrate and smooth parched, dry hair while exotic sugar cane extract and bamboo extract soften and mend split ends for a luscious, vibrant mane with brilliant shine

Sn: You know you natural when you receive hair products in your stocking. (that is how I met Macadamia Oil from Organix)

ShampooI enjoyed this product almost as much as I enjoyed the Coconut Milk line. I definitely found all of the benefits it boasted in the description to be true. It left my hair smelling and feeling great.

Conditioner
The conditioner was just as wonderful, if not better, than the shampoo.

Biotin & Collagen

Website description: A high performance blend of powerful ProVitamin B7 biotin infuses nutrients into every strand, while plumping collagen adds volume and dimension, and hydrolyzed wheat proteins strengthen, for thicker, fuller, healthier looking hair

ShampooThis had to be the most disappointing product that I have tried from this line. I was looking for something to strengthen my hair and after a bad experience with taking biotin pills; I figured that this shampoo would be the perfect alternative. It left my hair feeling stripped and maybe even weaker than before I used it.

ConditionerI also did not enjoy my experience with this conditioner. Although it smells heavenly, it left my hair feeling stringy and tangled. This quickly became shaving cream.

Please note, that depending on your hair type, you may love some of the products that I did not enjoy. I did try the Teatree Mint shampoo and conditioner once, from a friend, but not enough times to write a fair review.

These products are a bit expensive, in my opinion, but typically you can catch them on sale somewhere. Walmart, Walgreens and CVS typically take turns with either buy on get one or 5.99 each. But, since these are pratically the only products that I use in my hair anymore, I think they are defnitely worth it.

My hair does not respond well to argan oil so despite how bad I wanted to try their argan products, I declined. But, if you have tried them or any of the other lines that I haven’t gotten my hands on, feel free to share your experience with us. Or if you have tried any of these and gotten a different result, then please share that as well!

Wicked Wednesday: Afros for Breast

Wicked Wednesday: Afros for Breast

Did you know that African American women leading cause of death is lung cancer? Or that the second highest cause of death is breast cancer? According to research, there will be 27,060 new discoveries of breast cancer in African American in this year alone and 6,080 African American women are expected to die from it.

While we do not have the highest rate amongst all races, we do have a pretty high rate for women under 45 and a mortality rate that is 41% higher than our Anglo Saxon counterpart.

African American Men are just as vulnerable to this disease as African American women. It is important that we recognize that this is not a gender based disease.

While we have improved on our screening rates, this is still a cause that we need to educate ourselves on. Education must go much deeper than pink ribbons and walks. We must learn about our genetic history and the signs to look out for. We must do regular checks and learn ourselves so that we will be able to catch any early signs. We must also encourage each other to become aware!

July is Breast Cancer Awareness month.

In today’s Wicked Wednesday we will be honoring naturals who have fought Breast Cancer.

Minnie Ripperton

Richard Roundtree

Marsha Hunt

Ernie Green

Audre Lorde

Edward Brooke

Wanda Sykes

http://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/Statistics.html#AfricanAmerican

http://www.breastcancer.org/research-news/20070406b

Bass Ackwards Compliments

Bass Ackwards Compliments

Don’t you hate when people start staring at your hair and saying those things that are meant to make you feel good but leave your face twitched and your hands itching?

There is nothing more annoying than the ignorant, backwards natural hair compliment. Well, honestly, any backwards compliment is nerve grinding. But, of all the backwards compliments that one can give me, it is the natural hair ones that get me riled up the most.

So let’s make a list of these backwards compliments and the real responses that we want to give:

·         Do you have a texturizer?

o    No! I have curly hair, as hard as it is to believe, natural hair is not the equivalent of a used rug and if you pulled your head out of your stereotypes then you would be able to see that natural hair is curls!

·         I can’t believe how soft it is!

o    I can’t believe how ignorant you are! (lol) But seriously, don’t you get tired of people acting like afro is a synonym of pot scrapers.

·         I always thought dreds were so dirty?!

o    Did you think that people became allergic to shampoo after locing their hair?

·         Your hair would look so good straightened!

o    But, not as good as it does natural!

·         My daughter/son is mixed; I wish she/he had hair more like yours…

o    Stop reproducing for vain looks, just because you like my hair like doesn’t mean that your kid would like my hair like this! Teach them to love themselves how they appear.

·         Are you from the islands?

o    As if, a regular black woman from Florida couldn’t wear her hair with pride?

·         I wish that I didn’t have to do anything to my hair, like you.

o    (This one makes me want to throw on my exorcist voice and start spinning my head. Okay that was a bit dramatic, but seriously!) What I want to say is: Please don’t confuse this effortless look for ease! It takes a lot of work to wear twist outs, keeping our hair shiny and looking longer than 2 inches after retaining length for the past 3 years!

I know, some people are thinking well zayumn, “what can I say about her hair?” It’s simple, if you like it, say so. Even if it you are surprised that it is so soft you can say that; because I do a lot of work to keep it soft and shiny! But don’t say it like black hair is a curse that I somehow managed to get lucky enough to escape from. Don’t say it like it my hair used to be some myth that you just disproved. Don’t say it like my hair is almost good enough for you. Give me a compliment like you would give any other person a compliment or keep your half hearted words to yourself!

What are the bass ackwards hair compliments that kink your curls?

Day 11 of 365

Day 11 of 365

Day 11: the worst advice you’ve ever heard, or ever been given

O.M.G. This has to be the easiest of all the questions of the 365 days.

The absolute worse advice that I have ever heard was on Love & Hip Hop, I know, I shouldn’t be surprised but still.

Emily was talking to one of those girls about being in a relationship with Fabulous and having to deal with being felt unwanted and his infidelity.

Then her "friend": said to her, something to the tune of:
“Well you knew what you were siging up for when you started dating him, this just comes with the territory."

If one of my friends ever ever ever ever evvverrr said something like that to me, they would find themselves sitting on the same corner as the person cheating on me as I dropped them both out my life. This sounds like the same woman that would ask what you did to make your spouse hit you instead of helping me escape the fists.

I’ll pass!