Bad Natural Hair Habits

Bad Natural Hair Habits

1. Clean your brushes! I don’t mean removing those strands of hair from your brush when you get done detangling in the shower, I mean actual cleaning. Just like your scalp builds up product over time, your brush does the same as it removes the product from your hair and leaving it dirty pretty much makes it pointless.

2. Playing with hair! My second biggest weakness. This creates frizz and your dirty hands can contaminate your curls.

3. Malnourished curls! Natural hair requires more moisture, so we must condition it at least once a week. There are those of us who feel our hair collects too much moisture, but I am sure that we know how to handle this if it is the case. But, if you are one who complains about your hair being too dry, maybe you should try a DC regimen for a while. Deep conditioning helps to smooth the cuticle, which results in more definition while styling

4. Curl lust! Stop spending so much time wanting others’ curls and spend some time getting to know and love your own curls. Once we start taking care of our own hair, we may then be the next Solange or Tracee Ellis Ross.

5. Lack of knowledge! You cannot leave it all to your stylist, even if you go to the stylist on a weekly basis, who is taking care of your hair in between visits? If you are not taking care of your own hair then you can never achieve the maximum health potential or hair potential.

6. No more rat-tial combs! We changed our hair, so we must change our hair care tools. Gentle detangling using your fingers, wide tooth combs, and Denmark brushes will be the best way to retain length and avoid pain.

7. Letting it all hang out! I love to just wake up and go, but this isn’t always the best idea because our ends need to be protected if we want to keep them.

8. Sleeping unprotected! This is a bad habit that I find hardest to break. I always find some excuse to not wrap my hair or most times I’m too lazy for an excuse, let alone wrapping. Although, I am fully aware that this is the cause of most of my split ends. Sigh.

9. Not trimming enough/or trimming too much. Ends split! That’s just the truth about it. We do not have to cut off an inch of hair every month because our ends feel unkempt. But, we must find a balance, maybe a schedule of how often you trim your hair.

10.      Retwisting your locs too often. This can cause your hair to become built up with too much product and your pores to become clogged. This can also cause your strands to thin and break.

Do you have any other bad hair habits that you are working on breaking?

Day 23 of 365

Day 23 of 365

Day 23: a month/year of your life when you were happiest and why

I think one of the happiest months of my life, thus far, was May of 2010.

It was my first birthday spent in my own place, after a rough patch in life. I was surrounded by people that cared about me. I was getting to know my girlfriend, still in that cutesy stage, lol. (We still cute though!)  I was turning 21, so of course that felt major. I was becoming more confident as a poet.

It was just a beautiful time in life.

Can I Touch Your Hair?

 

Can I Touch Your Hair?

I have always been caught in the middle when it came to the subject of touching my hair.

Now, if it’s another natural asking to touch it then I will gracefully bow down and rub my fro in your face, lol.

But, if it is a non natural then it would really be like Russian roulette to ask me such a question. There would be so many factors to consider before answering that question.

·         First, will allowing you to touch my hair ruin anything that my hair is currently doing?

·         Am I sober? (you have better chances if I’m not)

·         Do you look like you will say something that will piss me off?

·         Do I look like a petting zoo?

I mean really, the list can go on for days.

But, recently, one of my natural hair muses, Taren Guy, stood in Union Square with a group of other natural women holding signs that read "You can touch my hair." This campaign was done with the intentions of starting conversations that would allow them to educate others about natural hair, about the concept of good hair vs. bad hair and about the taboo behind a nice big fro.

This campaign was not met without opposition. There was also a group of naturals with signs that read "You cannot touch my hair" and other more colorful statements. These girls argued that it is not our job to educate others about our hair and we should not degrade ourselves to a petting zoo in order to help others understand us.

I can understand why these women feel this way, but how can we promote change without education.

I think this campaign has had a definite effect on the way that I will handle this question when approached in the future. This is not to say that my fro will become open for business, but I will be less discriminating about whom I allow to cop a feel.

What is your opinion? Should we be more open to the afro illiterate?

Go Curly for a Cause

Go Curly for a Cause

Pledge to #wearyourhaircurly August 14th! Fructis Style will help send a girl to rock camp.
I'm rockin' my curls.
If you are too then make the pledge at the following link:

http://bit.ly/14pOPRt

Wicked Wednesday

Wicked Wednesday

In honor of Monday’s post about teaching our children to love themselves, this week’s Wicked Wednesday installment will feature the curly kiddies!

Enjoy!

Don't foget you can always submit your photos to be included in Wicked Wednesday by sending them to spokenheart_mf@aol.com!

Day 16 of 365

Day 16 of 365

Day 16: Someone you trust.

For some people this would be considered a hard question due to lack of trust, for me it is hard because I trust all the people that are closest to me.

I’m not sure what the rules are in this situation.

So I’ll just list them, lol.

I trust:

My girlfriend

My sister

& My best friends.

Keep Your Afros at Home

Keep Your Afros at Home

Recently, a viewer and friend shared an article with me that left me feeling very confused. Natural hair and childhood is a subject that I am very passionate about.

I wasn’t allowed to get my first relaxer until the age of 13 and I was mad about it. But, I am very grateful for this now. I feel like this allowed me to enjoy being a child, I wasn’t allowed to wear weaves or too many elaborate hairdos because I was expected to be, act and appear as a child. This granted me the ability to escape vanity for a little while longer. I also feel like it helped me to learn to love myself without any additives.

I have spoken to many people before about how important it is for our little girls to love themselves as they come. As time passes, we will all be subject to the pressures of vanity but childhood is not the time to start.

We should be teaching our little girls to love their hair as it grows and their skin in its different shades. As oppose to burning the black off their scalp or hiding it beneath weaves. I am not saying that this will prevent them from ever getting a relaxer or even from becoming a high maintenance pinup doll. I can’t even pretend that I have fully escaped my hair prison. I am still sometimes wondering if my hair looks nice or professional enough, I am still getting questioned by friends as to what is a professional enough hairdo to wear to work. I still know naturals that wear weaves to work instead of their hair as to not offend anyone.

But, I do firmly believe it will help them appreciate themselves more and do less searching for that appreciation in others. And it will definitely help with this epidemic of young girls looking like grown women.

Below is a portion of the letter sent to parents highlighting the new dress code changes at Horizon Science Academy in Ohio.

Afro-puffs and small twisted braids, with our [sic] without rubberbands, are NOT permitted.”

But, I digress. This article left me mouth agape and teeth grinding. I understand that the ban has been lifted and this is supposed to reverse the damage. But, the fact that they had the nerve to make this ban in the first place is the very reason that we must allow our little girls to learn to love themselves as they come. Although it may not be an outright hate statement, this is all but a hate crime. This is a blatant example of how people of color are taught to hate themselves. It is a subliminal message to our little girls that their hair as it grows out of their scalp is so unacceptable that it is a violation of dress code to wear it to school.

They banned afro puffs, but they did not ban pig tails. So you can send your daughter to school with her hair in ponytails as long as they lay down and not stand up, like ours naturally does. This is so laugh to me, or should I say all I can do is laugh at this.

But, in some ways, I also find this encouraging. Maybe it means that we are doing a better job at turning our children against themselves, doing a better job at loving ourselves and it is becoming a threat.

Whatever the reason, please remember that this starts at home. We can blame the schools and the society as much as we want. But, if we are doing this to our own children then we have no room to complain.

What are your thoughts on children and relaxers/weaves/appearance?